Drop Dead Uncle Fred
by Perplexity
Summary: Hearing voices is bad. Seeing people who no one else can see is worse. Having your mad, invisible uncle help you with your miserable love life, well, that's just plain horrid.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor his magical world. Furthermore, I do not own Drop Dead Fred. In short, don't sue me.**

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred**

**Chapter 1: A Tale Begun**

**Prologue:**

To say that the Weasley family was a strange one was an understatement. Unlike many pureblooded wizards, they never looked down upon those who were not pureblooded. All of the family had blazing red hair. The father, Arthur had a fascination with everything Muggle and the mother, Molly, was one of the most temperamental people in the world. The eldest son, Bill, worked at a bank with goblins and the next eldest, Charlie, worked with dragons. Percy, the third child, was a stuffy prude. George and Fred, who were twins, were the most mischievous, childish geniuses. The youngest son, Ron, was extremely hotheaded and thick sometimes, but was loyal and played the best game of chess anyone had ever seen. Finally, the youngest and only daughter of the family, Ginny, was quirky and to top it all, in denial about her love of the one and only Harry Potter.

That was the Weasley family that everyone knew. Yet, most people did not know about the extended Weasley family. Arthur Weasley had two brothers. One, they saw every once in a while, but the other they never talked about. None of the Weasley children knew why. In truth, it was mostly Molly Weasley's fault; she was not very fond of him and thought he was a bad influence on her children. You could see his influence on Fred and Georgealthough they had not seen him since they were five. They all had an eerie similarity, especially Fred (who had been named after his uncle).

Perhaps it was for the best, this particular brother of Arthur's was normally very busy. From what they knew, he worked with children, but that is all.

**Chapter 1: Section 1: Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater**

Ginny Weasley stormed through the office in an utmost rage. To be frank, she was pissed off. Her red hair went perfectly with the fury on her face. People shot looks of apprehensiveness after her; everyone knew that an angry Weasley was not one to mess with. Everyone almost sorry for the young man whose office she was approaching. They didn't, however, find themselves able to feel sorry for him. He deserved what he got.

Ginny knocked on an office door, which was adorned with a plaque baring the name Zacharias Smith. Without waiting for an answer, she barged in to see a young, blonde man wearing pinstriped robes. He looked up from the papers on his desk, obviously surprised to see the angry young woman. "I am so sorry to burst in on you like this, darling," Ginny said with the slightest trace of malice, "but I needed to talk to you about something."

"I am sorry Gin, but it will have to wait; I am rather busy," said Zacharias.

"Oh, I am sure you are, but this won't take very long. I was just wondering how there came to be lipstick on your cheek and shirt collar?" said Ginny sweetly.

Zacharias visibly gulped. "I—my grandmother came earlier. I must not have wiped all of her lipstick off. She really does wear to much make-up for her age…"

"Oh, well, I am sorry to say that that shade of lipstick is not your color Zacharias," said Ginny smiling. "How about going to lunch? I thought you could use a break."

"I, well, I am sorry Ginny, but today isn't a very good day. I have a lot of work to do. You know, that deal with the goblins at Gringott's Dublin branch is not going very well, and I have to write a whole new proposal."

"That's too bad. It will all be fine, I am sure. I will floo you later, alright?"

"Yes, that would nice."

Ginny left, leaving a very relieved Zacharias behind. All the people in the office looked at her with surprise when she exited the Mr. Smith's office with a calm face. They all had expected yelling or at least some evidence of things being thrown about.

Ginny stopped at the secretary's desk. "Hello Hannah, how are you?"

Hannah Abbott looked at Ginny with surprise. "I am fine, I am just finishing up the Dublin Gringotts deal."

"Really, how did it go?" asked Ginny with a slightly peculiar look upon her face.

"Really well; it was surprising how cooperative the goblins were."

"I don't doubt that. Hannah, do know about how long it has been since I have exited Zacharias's office?"

Hannah checked her watch. "About two and a half minutes."

"Thank you, Hannah. I will see you later. Oh, and I apologize in advance for disrupting everyone."

Hannah stared as Ginny walked back to the door of Zacharias's office. Ginny caught her eye and counted down from ten on her fingers. Then she abruptly opened the door. From what Hannah could tell, Zacharias was in big trouble.

He and a woman with dark brown hair had fallen off his desk, apparently from a very compromising position. They picked themselves up off the floor to meet the sight of Ginny, who had a sickly twisted smile on her face.

"Hello, you must be Zacharias's grandmother," said Ginny reaching out to shake the woman's hand. The woman looked perplexed. "Well, it is either that, or Zacharias is a cheating liar, which if he is, you would know perfectly well."

"Ginny, I—" started Zacharias, looking scared.

"Shut it, Smith. You are a lying, cheating bastard and I will not take it."

"I—"

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long?"

"A month."

"Bastard."

"Ginny, please don't…"

"Do what? This?" said Ginny, kicking him twice, once on the shin, and once…well, never mind. Zacharias doubled over and Ginny stomped out, tears forming in her eyes as she sent a Bat-Bogey hex over her shoulder.

**Chapter 1: Section 2: Facing the Family**

"I cannot believe that little—"

"Ron! Watch you language!"

"But I didn't even—"

"But you were about to!"

"Well, I have every right to that…guy…just cut out and stomped on my little sister's heart. What to expect me to do?"

"Ronald, you are not helping the situation. She needs to be comforted! She doesn't need your bloody hot-headed temper right now!"

"Oh, ho, ho, look there! You saw that Gin! Look who has the foul mouth now!"

Ginny was sure that it was not the best idea to tell Ron and Hermoine what had happened. She didn't have too much choice in the matter though. It was family dinner night and it was Ron and Hermoine's turn to cook. She had arrived at the Burrow looking quite miserable, and Hermoine and Ron had understandably asked what was wrong. Ginny knew that there was no use lying when Ron would probably associate any unhappiness on her part to Zacharias (Ron hated him with a passion) and when the whole story would probably be in the Prophet the next day seeing that she had caused quite a large scene. Ginny was just glad that the rest of her family was not home yet.

Most of her family did not approve of her dating Zacharias Smith. Well, Percy approved full-heartedly. Percy had gone as far in writing a letter to Ginny about it, congratulating her on her turn around, on her improvement in taste. She should have realized it then; if Percy approved, seeing that Percy was an arrogant git, it was going to be an absolute disaster.

Perhaps, though, she should have realized that it would be a disaster long before. She had always hated Zacharias. Even now, the name made her cringe. Smith he would be from now on. She would forget what he did to her, that he—

Ginny could not help it; her eyes started tearing up again. She desperately tried to wipe them away before anyone saw but, alas, it was to late.

"Ronald Weasley! You are being an insensitive prat right now! Your sister is in pain!"

Ginny cringed, for as Hermoine said this Fred and George popped in. This was a horrible new development. Fred and George could not keep anything quiet.

"What? Why's Ginny in pain?" asked George.

"I stubbed my toe," said Ginny. It was a feeble lie, but it could work if Ron didn't open his big, fat…

"Smith was cheating on her!"

…mouth. Ginny sighed; this was going to be a long night.

"What!"

"We'll kill the bastard!"

"George, you still have that itching powder, don't you?"

"Yeah, do you still have those dysfunctional Skiving Snackboxes?"

"YOU TWO HOLD IT!"

Everyone turned to see that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had arrived. Ginny did her best to look small, sliding part way under the table.

"Fred and George! I do not know what you are up to, but adults or not, you will not use your dysfunctional products on anyone!"

"But—"

"No 'buts.' I am still your mother and you will listen to me!"

"Mum, listen, it is for the good of the world!"

"Not to mention for the honor of our dearest sister!"

By this time Harry, his girlfriend Romilda Vane, Bill and Fleur had arrived. Ginny had slunk further under the table, only finding the slightest solace in the fact the Charlie had not been able to make it. It was bad enough, though, with the majority of her family there. It made it even worse with Harry, Romilda and Fleur. First and foremost, Ginny still seemed to blush around Harry. She supposed it was out of habit, either way it was trivial, but still ended up being quite embarrassing sometimes.

Then there was Romilda Vane. Ginny hated her. She hated Ginny. It was as simple as that. It had been that way since their Hogwarts years, but it had increased significantly when Romilda had started dating Harry. Ginny, personally, didn't think that Romilda was good enough for Harry, that she was only in it for the fame and fortune. Romilda had also always viewed Ginny as a threat, even before she and Harry had gotten together.

As for Fleur, Ginny had gotten more used to her (although she still called her Phlegm), but this was still something that Ginny did not want her witnessing. Fleur had a tendency to be quite condescending with another tendency to make the situation feel twice as bad.

"Sister? What about Ginny?" asked Mr. Weasley. Ginny had now slunk down so far that she was only visible from the eyes up.

"Smith! He cheated on her!" said Ron furiously. Ginny's face was now burning as she tried to let herself slide all the way under the table.

Unfortunately, Ginny did not succeed, for Mrs. Weasley swooped down upon her, pulling her into the grip of death. Ginny felt like she was in a vice being smothered in sheep. This was also known as a tight hug from her mother who was currently wearing a wool sweater. Either way, she could hardly breathe.

"Ginny! Poor dear. You should have come to me right away! That Zacharias Smith didn't deserve you!"

"See, that's exactly why keeping those dysfunctional products was a good thing!"

"Smith won't know what hit him!"

"You know the bastard deserves it!"

"Ronald! I told you not use that language, no matter whether he deserves it or not!"

"Zat Smeeth, wasn't 'e the handsome blonde one?"

"Yes he was quite handsome. You know, it is a pity that she couldn't keep him, but I suppose he just needed to move on to bigger and better things."

"Fred and George, you are to throw away those things right away. What he did to Ginny is horrible but…"

"Now, Molly, they are adults now. They can take responsibility for their own actions."

"Bill, you back us up on this won't you? Smith needs to pay."

"Of course I will. We will need Charlie too…"

"He is going to regret the day he messed with the Weasley family!"

"Hermoine, calm down, Ron is just…"

"Stay out of this Harry! Ginny needs support now…"

"As I have said before, Ginny just isn't good enough for high class…"

"She izn't all zat bad…"

Ginny could not take it all. Have ten people talking and yelling all at once in a small cramped space was bad enough, but it was terrible when they were all talking about her as if she wasn't there. She started to get quite a headache and headaches made her irritable.

"YOU LOT, THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH!" she bellowed with all her might. All her might seemed to be enough, since everyone fell quiet, all their eyes turned towards her. "I happily let all of you know that Mr. Smith was kicked twice and was on the receiving end of a Bat-Bogey hex at approximately thirteen minutes after twelve this afternoon, not to mention being publicly embarrassed in front of all his co-workers and his… lover. Now, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would all stop discussing my life as if I wasn't right here."

Ginny sat down, feeling satisfied that she had gotten the message through. Everyone was relatively quiet as Hermoine and Ron brought dinner out. Her dad was the first to apologize.

"Ginny, dear, I am sorry. We were just concerned…"

"Yeah, I am sorry too," added Bill. "Although, I still think that that prat needs to be taught a lesson."

"I agree, Ginny. I am sorry, but Smith was never good enough for you anyway. You deserve much better," said Harry.

Ginny tried to suppress her blush. Ginny ignored her heating face, distracting herself by accepting her other brothers' apologies, although, she did happen to notice a contemptuous look upon Romilda's face, right after Harry's apology.

The rest of dinner went well considering that fact that everything had been a bit tense. Ginny remained relatively quiet. She was contemplative, wondering how this had all happened, how Smith could do this to her, how she had started dating such an honorless man. She felt violated and disgraced. It would have been one thing if he had just broken up with her, but knowing that he had cheated on her, that if chance had it, she would be still with him, ignorant of everything.

**Chapter 1: Section 3: A Really, Really Bad Day**

Ginny really did not want to go to work that day. She had spent most of the night crying, much to her disgust. Smith didn't deserve her tears, she kept telling herself, but they came anyway.

She went to working in spite of how she was feeling. She just hoped it would distract her. She was quite fond of her job. She had wanted to become an Auror, but after Voldemort was defeated for good, there was not much need for more. She now worked at the Department of Magical Games and Sports at the Ministry of Magic. She worked in the research division, working to invent faster, safer brooms, more powerful bludgers and quicker snitches. She and her coworkers always had a lot of fun with everything, much to the chagrin of the other people in the Department who had to deal with all the paperwork.

As Ginny walked through the Ministry to her Department, she felt the eyes of numerous witches and wizards following her. She hated the feeling and quickened her pace. Whispers chased after her through the halls…

"…poor girl, did you see in the Prophet…"

"…that Zacharias Smith bloke, apparently she walked in on him with…"

"…I heard that she just went with him to make Oliver Wood jealous…"

"…the Quidditch player? Man, she sure likes them rich and famous…"

"…I remember at Hogwarts she really fancied Harry Potter…"

"…I heard that Smith was cheating on her with Harry Potter…"

"…no, it said in the Prophet that it was a woman, besides, Harry Potter is going with that Romilda Vane woman…"

"…I have always though that Mrs. Vane was much better looking than Mr. Smith…"

"…the point is that Smith is an idiot…"

Ginny slammed her office door shut. She couldn't stand it. Rumors spread like a wildfire around here. Only about ten percent of them had any truth to them.

"Lousy day?" asked a voice.

"I haven't even been up for an hour and it is already horrid," said Ginny plopping down at her desk.

"I am assuming that you have seen the Prophet already then?"

"Actually, I have not, but I have heard enough whispers just walking in here."

"Well, I hope, Miss Weasley, that this whole deal will not affect you work performance."

"You sound so formal, Mr. Higgs. I daresay hope that you don't use that tone around Spudmore. He will think that you are trying to steal his job," said Ginny, keeping her face straight.

"And no one wants to make that man mad."

"He might blast your ears off."

Ginny's coworker Terence Higgs just laughed. "It wouldn't make much of a difference, I don't listen to him anyway. Enough about that, I heard about Smith."

"Yes, well it seems the whole world has now," said Ginny, scowling.

"Well, you did make quite a scene."

"He deserved it."

"I don't doubt that. I told you it wasn't wise to date a Hufflepuff."

"Yes, and my brothers told me that all Slytherins are evil."

"Well, I have always said you Gryffs were stereotypists. Just because we are not as honorable as you…"

"I get the point," said Ginny throwing a crumpled up paper at Terence.

"So what are you going to do now with your new found singularity?" he asked.

"Nothing in particular."

"Really, because I know a few guys who have been asking a about you."

"That's nice, but I am going to keep things quiet for a while."

"I like quiet, you see, it allows people to be more productive and actually do their jobs."

Ginny and Terence looked up to see their boss Gilbert Spudmore glaring down at them. The middle-aged man was notorious for being a pain in the posterior, as well as being one of the most touché and hardheaded bosses around.

He continued. "Miss Weasley, while your personal life is probably most interesting, I will tell you once again to not bring it into the office. I warned you last time, and if it happens again you will be fired. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," answered Ginny softly.

"Now get to work, both of you!"

The rest of Ginny's day went horribly. After being nearly fired, she spilled coffee all over Joey Jenkins, Chudley Canons Beater. The only reason she wasn't fired right then and there was because Jenkins was very kind about it and Spudmore wanted to make a good impression on him. Her day went down hill even faster from there. When taking her lunch break she had to try to ignore all the whispers and spreading rumors. She became so distracted that she walked right into Harry Potter.

"I am so sorry, Harry," said Ginny, blushing as he helped her up. He said it was fine and gave her a quick grin, which made her blush even more.

"Harry!" said another voice. Ginny's face fell as Romilda Vane approached. "Harry, what's keeping you? We need to leave now for lunch before Armand's is filled, although, I know he could still find a place for you, we must have a good table...oh, I see, its you."

"Hello, Romilda," said Ginny, doing her best to muster up a smile.

"Hello, Ginerva. I was just hearing about you. Apparently, Zacharias had been with that other woman (who happens to be the daughter of Celestina Warbeck) for a month before you found out. Isn't that just dreadful?" said Romilda with a sickeningly concerned look on her face. Ginny did not really know how to reply to this. She looked to Harry to see that he a concerned expression upon his face also. "Well, Harry, we must really go. Goodbye!"

"Bye Ginny. Remember, if you need anything you can come to me," said Harry as Romilda pulled him away. Ginny blushed again. She did not know why she did so, but she assumed that she was just angry about Romilda. Ginny had really felt like punching her, especially when she had called her 'Ginerva.' Romilda liked to call her that just to irritate her.

Lunch was hectic. Some old lady had push Ginny out of the long line at Barbelin's Café. By the time Ginny was nearing the front once again, she was running late for work, so she had to leave without anything.

Ginny barely made it back to the Ministry in time. Terence scolded her and she received the evil eye from Spudmore. Finally, after an exhausting five hours of writing proposals to the Nimbus broom company, she got to head home.

She walked up to her flat to find her door wide open. Ginny drew her wand and turned on the light. It was apparent that whoever had been there had left, but it was also apparent that they had left with all her stuff as well.

She walked through her flat to find that all the furniture was gone. She could handle that. They had left her clothes, books and linens; that was good. They had taken her wireless though and her broom. Hell, they had even taken her floo powder. Ginny sighed. She supposed she needed to contact someone, but then she saw a note on her counter from her neighbor declaring that they had already contacted the Muggle policemen and they would be on the lookout.

Ginny could not believe her day. How many things could go wrong? She sighed once more and went to her cupboards to find something to eat.

_Damn!_

That was it. Whoever had broken in had raided her cupboards as well. There was not a morsel of food left. Ginny really did not want to, but there was nothing else that could be done. She walked out and apparated to the Burrow.

**Chapter 1: Section 4: Mother Dearest**

"Ginny! What happened?" shrieked her mother as Ginny walked into the kitchen.

"Bad day," she answered with a tired shrug.

"Poor dear. Here, how about I make you some dinner and you can tell me all about it."

This was the greatest thing about coming home. Ginny not only loved her mother's cooking, but he mother was a great person to tell all her problems to. Ginny used to vent by writing in a diary, but the Tom Riddle incident had taken its toll. She could hardly even look at a diary in Flourish & Blotts without shuddering. Henceforth, she had come to realize that her mother was better to vent to than any diary.

Ginny told Mrs. Weasley all about her day: how she had almost been fired, all the spreading rumors, and the robbery. Mrs. Weasley gasped in all the right places and gave all the needed hugs.

Ginny went to bed feeling much better than she had, but she was still not sure that she wanted to face the next day. She had a feeling that it was to be extraordinarily agonizing.

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A/N: This is, I suppose, a crossover, but it is not necessary to know anything about Drop Dead Fred prior to reading, although, it is a great movie. If you don't have time to watch the movie, or do not wish to, but want to know a bit more, I suggest reading some quotes from the movie. This is by far the longest chapter I have ever written. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

Thank you all for reading! I hope this has been an enjoyable experiance.

---Perplexity


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I niether own Harry Potter or Drop Dead Fred. **

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred**

**Chapter 2: Meet Fred, Please Drop Dead**

**Chapter 2: Section 1: Long Lost Relatives in the Cupboard**

Ginny woke early. She had been distracted by dreams, but they were interrupted by something hitting her on the head. She shot up, but nothing was there. Assuming that she had just imagined it, Ginny walked down stairs to grab some breakfast.

Entering the kitchen, she heard a rustle in the cupboard. Frowning, Ginny went to open it. She reached for the cupboard door, pulling it slowly towards her…

"Bogey Breath!"

Ginny screamed and slammed the cupboard door. She sat back in chair. She had never expected to go crazy, but if she were, she would have not expected to see redheaded man in tacky green clothes stuffed into the cupboard. Ginny held her head in her hands.

"Bogey Breath, you've gotten old. If possible, even uglier! And smellier!" the man cried, taking a whiff of Ginny and wrinkling his nose. Ginny looked up to see the cupboard man standing in front of her. The man continued, "What? You don't remember me? Well, I suppose it has been a long time, but I never expected this. I think I am going to be sick all over."

Ginny looked up at the man unbelievingly. "Who are you?"

"Drop Dead Fred, of course. Well, actually, it would be Uncle Drop Dead Fred to you…but don't tell the beast about it, she'd chop off my head."

"What?"

"Oh, this is just great. They didn't tell you. Well I suppose that it's the beast's fault. She never did like me much. I am your father's brother."

"The one they never talk about?"

"Obviously. Now, let get down to things shall we? How about a nice mud pie?'

"Mud pie?"

"You really are old. Not to mention a girl. Weasley's are not supposed to have girls! Girls are DE-SCUST-ING!"

Ginny just looked at him wide-eye. She was in utter shock. She shook herself out of it. This was her Uncle Fred; she could see the family resemblance. She had heard vague stories of him, but no one in the family talked about him. She did not know why though. She stared at him. Finally, she found her voice.

"Um… Uncle Drop Dead Fred…why are you here?"

"Well, it is not that I wanted to be, but I heard that you were in trouble and by Order of the Council, I must help you."

"Why you?"

"Because I'm your uncle, Stupid! Otherwise they could have sent Velcro Head or Go to Hell Herman. I didn't want to be here. I could be having fun, but no, I get to be stuck with a miserable, ugly, old girl!"

Ginny was about to lose her temper when she was saved by her mother walking in.

"Oh, Ginny, why are you up so early."

"It's the beast! Let's throw her through the window and feed her to the garden gnomes!"

"Mum, I…" started Ginny confused as why her mother did not notice that Fred was standing in the kitchen. " Are you all right?"

"I'm just fine dear. Why wouldn't I be?"

Ginny swallow. "No reason."

"She can't see me," said Fred gesturing to Mrs. Weasley. "I am here to help you become happy, so no one can see me but you." Fred then continued to flick snot into Mrs. Weasley's coffee.

Ginny got up cautiously. "I have to go to work, Mum. I'll see you at the next family dinner, alright?"

Ginny left her mother and Fred in the kitchen to go get ready for work. She still wasn't convinced that she wasn't just going mad, but she knew that Spudmore would not take temporary insanity as an excuse for being late to work.

**Chapter 2: Section 2: All Work, No Play**

Ginny arrived at work in good time. Terence was not even there yet. She settled herself and started in on paper work.

"Good morning, Ginny. It is lovely to see that you are actually here on time," said Terence jokingly as he arrived.

"Yes, Gins, it's quite lovely," said a voice, mockingly. This startled Ginny so much that she knocked her coffee all over her desk. Drop Dead Fred was sitting on the filing cabinet in the corner, giving her a smug grin.

"Whoa, Ginny, watch it! Those are important papers," said Terence.

Ginny just blushed and muttered obscenities under her breath as she vanished the coffee off her desk. "Uncle Fred, what are you doing here?" she whispered, hoping that Terence would not notice.

"Helping you, of course. Oh, and I forgot. I have something for you." Fred proceeded to pick his nose and wipe it on her.

"That is disgusting!" said Ginny.

"What's disgusting?" asked Terence.

Ginny blushed. "Oh, just some dirty joke that my brothers sent me."

"Let's hear it then!" said both Fred and Terence at the same time.

"I would rather not spread such indecencies, thank you," said Ginny, hoping that that would cover her.

Both Fred and Terence glared; both neither pushed the issue. Ginny returned to her work, but did not go a minute before she was interrupted once more.

"Weasley!" barked Spudmore. "Good to see that you were here early. I do hope, though, that you don't expect that this will let you off the hook. You're lucky that you didn't lose you job because of the Jenkins incident…"

As Spudmore continued to berate her, Fred slid over and whispered to Ginny, "Is that the ogre?"

Ginny nodded just slightly, so that Fred would get the idea and Spudmore would be no wiser.

"Oh," started Fred. "In that case, I say we first put the Bat Bogey hex on him. Then we smother him in elbow grease and flush him down the toilet to go live with Moaning Myrtle!"

Ginny started to laugh. Terence looked at her incredulously and Fred looked delighted. As for Spudmore, well, he looked furious.

"Miss Weasley. I do not know what you are laughing at, but you were already treading on thin ice. You're fired!"

Ginny looked between Spudmore, Terence and Fred in disbelief. Fired! She had been fired and it was all Drop Dead Fred's fault. Ginny grew angry.

"Fred, I am going to kill you!" she said taking a threatening step towards her uncle. Fred, sensing danger, disappeared.

Spudmore continued unfazed by Ginny's outburst. "You have a half-hour to clear you stuff."

Spudmore left, leaving Ginny in a look of shock. She looked over to Terence who had a slightly worried look on his face.

"I'm sorry Ginny. You didn't deserve that, but really what were you thinking, laughing at Spudmore like that?"

"I don't know. This has been a horrible day. I don't know what I'm going to do now."

**Chapter 2: Section 3: Packs a Punch, Rhymes With Lunch**

Ginny pack all her stuff in a box. She shrunk it and stuck it in her pocket. She walked down the hall with an angry stride.

"Why so angry, Bogey Breath?"

Ginny turned to see Fred walking behind her. "You got me fired," she seethed.

"You would have gotten fired sooner or later. It was your fault anyway. You should laugh at you boss like that."

"I hate you."

Fred looked affronted. "Well, if you really don't like me that much, you can just tell me to piss off."

"Piss off," Ginny muttered.

"I can't hear you!"

"Piss off!" she yelled, earning stares from all the Ministry employees in the hall. Blushing, Ginny sped up. She had to get out of there.

When Ginny got up to the Atrium, she apparated to the one place she knew could make her feel slightly better: Florean Fortesque's. His ice cream was the best comfort food in the world. She went in a bought her ice cream and made her way to table outside. She just hoped that Fred wouldn't find her, but her hopes were in vain.

"Oh, ice cream! I love ice cream!" said Fred appearing at her side.

"I thought I told you to piss off," said Ginny.

"Well, screw you then," said Fred pushing her.

Ginny stumbled and ran right into someone, ending up knocking them both to the floor. Ginny landed hard, twisting her ankle. She was sure that she would have bruises from this experience. Slowly picking herself up, she made to apologize to whomever she had knocked over.

"I am so sorry," she said, making to help them up. She was too embarrassed to look them in the face, but their hands looked familiar.

"Ginny," said the voice of none other but Zacharias Smith.

Fred, surveying the scene, whispered, "Is that your beloved, who was going at it like the pigeons in his office with some woman." Ginny nodded. "It the urchin himself," said Fred, glaring. "He'll learn to never mess with Weasleys!" Fred pulled up his sleeves making to fight.

Ginny stepped on Fred's foot quickly. "How have you been, Zacharias?"

"Fine, but Ginny, I miss you."

Fred looked disgusting, pretending to puke. Ginny looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yes, I am sorry."

Just then, the woman, Celestina's Warbeck's daughter, Ginny assumed, stepped up next to Smith. Ginny blanched. She started to feel sick. Fred seemed to notice this.

"Go on, puke on him! You know he deserves it! No? Well, you just can't stand there doing nothing. You look like a idiot!" Fred took matters into his own hands, grabbing and pulling Ginny's wrist so that she staggered forwards, the ice cream in her hand going right into Zacharias Smith's face. No one said anything for a moment. Well, Fred was laughing hysterically, but no one could hear him except Ginny, so it didn't really matter. Ginny was shocked once more, but after a minute, the shock faded away and she started laughing. Perhaps Uncle Fred was not so bad after all.

"Ginny, what the hell was that for you b—"

Smith was not able to finish his sentence; someone else had stepped into the scene, sending a fist flying into his face.

"Harry!" yelled another voice.

"Harry?" questioned Ginny.

"Harry Potter!" exclaimed Fred.

"Harry Potter," spat Smith, simultaneously whipping ice cream of his face, and rubbing then swelling region below his eye.

Harry stepped back, looking sheepish. "Hi, Gin," he said.

"Potter you will pay for this! I always thought you were no good. I am going to make sure the world knows it!" exclaimed Smith.

"Let the world believe what it want," said Harry. "As long as it knows how much of a bastard you are. Stay away from Ginny, Smith. Trash like you doesn't deserve her."

Ginny melted. Harry looked angry. Smith looked affronted. Celestina Warbeck's daughter had a look of contempt on her face. Romilda, who was with Harry, practically had steam coming out of her ears. Drop Dead Fred appeared thoroughly entertained. Zacharias Smith and company stalked off, leaving Ginny a bit relieved. Fred, however, seemed disappointed that there was not a big brawl.

"Are you alright, Ginny?" asked Harry.

"Just fine. Thank you, Harry," said Ginny, damning her blush. At this, Fred seemed sickened.

"You like him! Nancy boy Potter! Gross!" Fred shook his head and then started imitating Romilda's glare.

"Are you sure you're all right?" asked Harry, frowning.

"Now, Harry, I'm sure Ginny is just fine. Here, all have some girl chat with her while you go get our ice cream."

Ginny cringed as Harry walked away. She really didn't want to be alone with Romilda. She was sure that Romilda had nothing nice to say, which would just make her angry. Ginny didn't want to lose her temper. She was already having a bad day and she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't give Romilda a black eye.

"Ginevra, dear, sit down," said Romilda with her disgusting smile. Even Fred seemed to be taken aback by her smile's sick sweetness. Ginny, who on no uncertain terms would sit next to Romilda willingly, took a seat on the ground just to spite her proper ways. This earned Ginny a glare, which was much easier on the stomach. "I really must tell you that your behavior is, frankly, despicable. Now, I know you and Zacharias have your differences, but really, he is a prominent member of the community. You, however, are a disgrace…"

Ginny had stopped listening. She could not afford to lose her temper at that moment so, she diverted her attention to Drop Dead Fred, who was attempting to have a thumb war with a pigeon.

"Ginevra! You're not listening!"

Ginny looked up, unfazed. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Romilda looked quite affronted. "That's part of the problem, Ginevra. You may be able to keep some sort of man if you didn't go everywhere with your head in the clouds…"

Fred made a face. "Come on Gins! Are you going to sit there and take that? Let's smush her! Push her in front of one of those sweet trolleys! Just tell your dear Harry that it was an accident."

"Shut up," said Ginny, forgetting that she was the only one who could see or hear Fred.

"What did you say to me?" screeched Romilda.

"I—" Ginny started.

"I give you advice, try to help you with your wretched life and this is what I get!" yelled Romilda.

"Romilda, I wasn't talking to you!" said Ginny exasperatedly.

"Oh, you were just talking to the voices in your head then? I will not take anymore of this!" she screamed. People were watching them curiously. Ginny wasn't positive that Romilda was not trying to make a scene. It was at this point that Harry decided to show up with ice cream.

"What's going on—" he started, but was interrupted by Romilda grabbing the ice creams out of his hands.

"Well, this is what I think of you!" said Romilda, smearing the first ice cream over Ginny's face and hair and taking the second and shoving it down her robes. "Harry, we're leaving! You are not to associate with this trash anymore!"

Ginny stood there, covered in cold, sticky, melting ice cream, and watched as Romilda dragged Harry away. Harry looked confused to say the least. He gave her a strangled look and then a look that conveyed the message that they would talk later. Ginny just stood there watching them go. Ginny was only vaguely aware that people were staring at her.

Drop Dead Fred came up and rested his elbow on her shoulder. He looked after the retreating figures of Romilda and Harry. He stuck his finger in the ice cream on Ginny's head and licked it off his long fingers.

"You know, Bogey Breath," he said, "You really should have listened to me."

-------------------

A/N: And it gets a bit silly. I thank everyone for reading and an extra special thank you to she, I am assuming, who reviewed. I also thank those who put this story on their alerts and another extra special thank you to the wonderful soul that put me on the first c2 of any of my stories.

Second order of business: It would be helpful for me to know how many who are reading this have seen the film Drop Dead Fred. If you have, suggestions would be very appriciated. Actually, suggestions are good either way.

Thank you,

---Perlpexity


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the wonderful world of Mr. Harry Potter and Co. nor the fantasic world of Drop Dead Fred.**

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred**

**Chapter 3: New Old Jobs and Lover Boy**

**Chapter 3: Section 1: Weasley Wizard Wheezes**

Ginny felt like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. She was having consecutive bad days and it seemed that she had a lot to reckon with. Although she wished that the first thing she needed to do was kick some invisible uncle arse, she knew that that would have to wait. The first thing she needed to do was find a job and she knew just where to look.

Her brothers, Fred and George Weasley, had been very disappointed when she had quit her job in their joke shop to work for the Ministry. Very disappointed, indeed. They had berated her, accusing her of becoming a Percy and so on. Well, at least they did so until she told them that she would be working in the Department of Magical Games and Sports as a researcher and that she could get them some free tickets to Quidditch games. After that, she had their full support, even though they did say that Weasley Wizard Wheezes would sorely miss her.

Ginny walked into Weasley Wizard Wheezes, still covered in ice cream, feeling like she was going to cry. Everyone stared at her as she walked passed, right into the back office, where she hoped to find either Fred or George. Luckily, she found both.

George looked up at her from a messy desk. "Ginny, I am sorry, but peanut butter kiwi is not your color."

"Ginny, are you having trouble finding you mouth again?" said Fred.

Ginny just gave a weak smile. "Can I use your restroom?"

Ginny headed to the restroom to wash. She had decided that it was too dangerous to try to vanish the ice cream.

"Now, Ginny-kinns, what brings you to our fine establishment today?" asked Fred.

"I got a job spying for Zonko's, so I have come see the new merchandise," said Ginny seriously, feeling slightly better.

"Ginny, you know that's not funny," said George with a grin.

Ginny feigned surprise. "I know it's not funny, but it pays well."

"Ginny! You can't do that! You know everything. Hell, you helped invent half the stuff in here!"

Ginny just raised her eyebrows.

"We will pay you double what they are paying! How about ten Galleons an hour?" said Fred.

"With free samples?" asked Ginny.

"Yes and lots of holidays."

"Agreed," said Ginny with a smile, shaking both Fred and George's hands.

"The owner of Zonko's was a chump to hire our sister," grinned Fred, thinking that he had gotten the good end of a deal. Ginny burst out laughing.

"Dear brothers, do you really think that I would take a job spying for Zonko's?"

Fred and George looked shock. "Fred, we've been duped."

"Indeed, George, we have."

Both grinned, obviously proud of their sister. Ginny smirked back.

"Ginny, you still haven't told us how you became covered in ice cream."

Ginny started into the whole story, not hesitating in using foul language when it came to Zacharias and Romilda.

"Don't worry, Gin. Romilda will be on the receiving end of a Canary Crème next time we see her," said Fred.

"Or a You-No-Poo," said George, grinning wickedly.

Ginny smiled, but her smile faded as she noticed Drop Dead Fred walking in.

"Nice! Very nice! I knew I had had good influence on those two. Fine chaps! Oh, what's that?" he said with eyes wide. Ginny watched in horror as her Uncle Fred jumped into the cauldron full of eatable Dark Marks.

She walked over, forgetting that no one else could see him. "Fred, get out of there right now!"

"Ginny, what are you talking about?" asked her brother Fred, looking confused.

"Yeah, Ginny, _what_ are you talking about?" mocked Drop Dead Fred from the cauldron.

Ginny was fed up with the confusion, so she did the only logical thing: she grabbed her Uncle Fred by the ear and dragged him outside. "Why do you have to be here?"

"I told you, I am here to make you happy. Until you are happy no one can see me and I can't leave! So make with the happy!" shouted Fred.

"I don't like you!" shouted Ginny, making small children look at her curiously as their mothers whisked them away from the mad lady.

"Well, I don't like you either. You know why? Your as disgusting girl!" retorted Fred.

"Piss off!" spat Ginny. However, Fred disappeared right before she got the last word out. In front of her now stood Harry Potter.

"Sorry. I'll just leave then," he said looking confused.

Ginny blushed bright red. She wanted to smack herself upside the head for arguing with her invisible uncle in public. "I'm sorry, Harry. It wasn't talking to you."

"Um, then who were you talking to?" asked Harry.

"Er, there was a…fly…yes, a fly was buzzing next to my ear and I wanted it to go away," she answered, feeling very foolish.

"Oh, okay. Look, I am really sorry about Romilda earlier. You know, she not usually like that. I think she was just having a bad day…"

"Look, Harry it's fine. No harm done," said Ginny through her teeth. She had decided to cut him off because if she had not, she would have broken out in peels of laughter. Romilda not usually like that? Not a chance. Ginny was surprised at how thick Harry could be. Nonetheless, Ginny did not want to offend him. "Are you here to see Fred and George?"

"Yes, I have a meeting with them, but I am not sure about it. I think they was me to test out some of their recent inventions."

"Then I would advise you to run now and run fast."

"I thought I would just give myself up now, so I don't have to suffer the humiliation later," laughed Harry.

"I guess that is a good plan of action," said Ginny, adverting her eyes from Drop Dead Fred, who was currently posing as a manikin in a store window.

"So what are you doing here?" asked Harry.

"I work here," answered Ginny, purposely ignoring Fred's attempts to wave at her and still pretend that he was a manikin.

"What? Since when?"

"Oh, about five minutes ago," said Ginny, now trying to conceal giggles as Fred became fed up with her ignoring him and tried walk through the window pane.

"Are you alright? You seem awfully distracted."

"Sorry, what was that you said?"

"Never mind," said Harry with a laugh.

**Chapter 3: Section 2: A Lovely Time with Lover Boy**

After Harry's meeting with Fred and George (which ended happily with all Harry's limbs still attached), Ginny spent the rest of the day with him. They had a lot of fun. They visited the new Quidditch supply store, where Harry explained to her the latest move he was working on and Ginny explained to him the benefits and drawbacks of the Velocity broom (which she helped invent) versus the Nimbus 2003 and the Firebolt Deluxe. Then they went for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron

They ended up laughing half the time and had better time than Ginny expected. She had expected that it would have been a lot more awkward, but she didn't blush more than three times and one of those didn't count because it was when she had spilled her drink all over the man next to her.

Ginny got home feeling elated. The whole evening had been wonderful. She was surprised though that Harry had not mentioned Romilda even once. She supposed that he wanted to avoid any uncomfortable moments brought about by the ice cream incident.

She plopped herself on her couch with grin.

_Pop!_

Ginny nearly screamed, but calmed when she saw that it was just Fred.

"Well, someone had a good time."

Ginny just grinned.

"Ah ha! I knew you were in…love," at this Fred made face, "with him. But, don't tell me too much because if I heard that you have been going at it like the pigeons I _will_ be sick all over."

"Fred! That is disgusting. Moreover, I am not in love with Harry! He's got a girlfriend anyway."

"We can fix that."

"Drop Dead Fred, on no uncertain terms will you do anything to break them up!" commanded Ginny, in such a stern way that Fred cowered. "Anyway, if Harry is happy with her, I am happy. Harry deserves happiness."

"Liar, liar pants on fire! You are not happy! And that is exactly what I am here to fix," said Fred prancing out the door.

"What are you doing?" asked Ginny.

"Fixing things."

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A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading with an extra special thankyouto everyone for reviewing. I am sorry about the length of this chapter, but I thought that this would be a good place to end it.

Until Next Time,

---Perplexity


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related (Unless you count the physical mass-produced books etc.)**

**Chapter 4: The Spat of the Mud Pie**

Ginny ran after Fred through the dark streets. She panted as he turned corner after corner. She couldn't let him do whatever he was about to do. She knew it would only end in chaos.

Finally, after a long time, she saw him enter a house on the corner of Martin Hill Drive. Ginny's fists clenched: She was going to kill Drop Dead Fred. This was Romilda's house.

Ginny ran through the front door, not thinking of the illegal factor of what she was doing. It was apparent that Romilda was not there, which Ginny was very thankful for.

Ginny crept into the kitchen, cringing at each crash that sounded from it.

"Fred! What do you think you're doing?" said Ginny.

"I just love that noise, don't you?" he said as he threw a plate against the wall.

"Fred, if you don't come right now…"

"You'll what? Trust me, Bogey Breath, I know what I'm doing," said Fred letting out a hoot as he threw another plate.

Ginny was getting even angrier, but before she could say anything Fred exclaimed, "I know! We can play robbers! Then I can make your sweater all stripy."

"No robbers!"

"Fine," said Fred with his nose up in the air. "Oh, what about mud pie!"

"Fred!" shouted Ginny. She had now pulled out her wand, ready to stun him, but he had ran outside, returning with a large armful of mud, which he was about to drop on Romilda's expensive table cloth. She tried to vanish the mud, but Fred just deflected it. Finally, Ginny became fed up and tackled him.

She charged, knocking Fred off the table onto the floor, along with the mud. Fred grinned and disappeared once again. Ginny screamed with frustration. She was not sure what to do. She couldn't vanish the mud and although she was sorely tempted to leave it, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Sighing, Ginny (who was already covered in mud) grabbed as much as she could and tried to make her way over to the door.

A scream broke her step. Ginny turned to see Romilda and Harry standing in the doorway, Romilda in horror and Harry in disbelief.

"What the hell are you doing?" screeched Romilda.

Ginny went wide-eyed and sheepish. "Mud pie?" she answered.

"WHAT?" yelled Romilda, looking like she was going to blow any second.

"I…I um," stuttered Ginny, " I wanted to make up for the incident a Florean Fortesque's. I was out of line and completely rude to you…and well…the mud pie wasn't done yet…but…um…surprise?"

Five…four…three…two…one…she detonated.

"YOU ARE A COMPLETE FREAK! PATHETIC BEYOND ALL BELIEF! YOU CAN'T GET YOUR OWN BOYFRIEND, SO YOU COME HERE PUNISHING ME BECAUSE I CAN GET ONE! YOU ARE INSANE!" yelled Romilda triumphantly as Ginny winced at the pitch of her voice. But then Romilda's voice softened. "Oh, I know what this is about!"

"You do?" asked Ginny skeptically.

"Oh, yes, I heard all about it. I knew you must be mentally unstable; I mean _there was_ the whole Tom Riddle thing. Its well—"Romilda lowered her voice so that Harry couldn't hear—" pathetic how you were so stupid to believe him. Setting loose a killer on the school and having to be saved by Harry? It's, frankly, sad. No wonder you didn't have any friends except for that Creevy weirdo you second year. You are just a useless thing that is a menace to other people's lives. What was it? Oh yes…you are a stupid, silly little girl—"

Through this whole speech, Ginny wrestled with her temper. In the end, she lost. Her fist came flying through the air, connecting with Romilda's smug face. There was a crunch and Ginny was sure that she broke her nose. While this would have been quite satisfying, Ginny was too upset to even smirk. Romilda was screaming all sorts of insults at Ginny, while Harry tried to stop the blood spurting out her nose. Ginny turned to leave.

"Ginny! I need to speak with you now!" demanded Harry, after he had slightly calmed Romilda, who was currently holding a dishrag to her nose.

Sending a glare in Romilda's direction, Ginny followed Harry out of the room. He looked angry. "Ginny, I know you haven't been having a very good week, but that is not excuse for this! What are you thinking? You have never liked Romilda; I know this, but you could at least act your age and put old childhood squabbles behind you! I can't see though, that that is not possible. Perhaps Romilda was right about you all along."

This got Ginny angry. She was already furious, but now she was livid. "Romilda's right about me? I am wondering what exactly she has said because whenever she speaks to me it is insulting and rude even though I have done nothing to her! I guess I have entirely misjudged you, Harry. I have always trusted your judgment, but I can see now that you have no more sense than a bull with a lobotomy!"

"You're mad. I haven't done anything, besides, Romilda is a wonderful woman!"

"Again, you're wrong. She horrible, but if she makes you happy then that's just dandy. As for doing nothing, well, you have done very little and that is half the bloody problem! The other part is what you have done. You told her about the Chamber of Secrets!"

"What does that have to—"

"You are incredibly thick, Potter," said Ginny in tears. "She can insult me all she wants. I have handled it for months, but there is one thing that will break me and thanks to you, she knows!" Ginny stormed out, leaving a confused and angry Harry in her wake.

"Well, fine, just get out!" he yelled. "No one ever wanted you around anyway!"

--------------------------------

A/N: I am sorry it took so long and is a bit short, but here it is anyway. Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing!

---Perplexity

PS: Please excuse any spelling and gramatical errors (I am really tired).

PS to the PS:

Allison Carroll: Thank you so much for supporting and promoting my story! I am sorry that this chapter is not longer (and is less funny).


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, not even his left foot.  
**

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred**

**Chapter 5: Wrestling Out Confessions**

**Section 1: Oh Brother.**

Misery was not fun. Angry spite wasn't either, but Ginny had to feel both, all while working at a shop of jokes, tricks and other fun devices. Oh, the horror. She hadn't seen Drop Dead Fred since that night at Romilda's. She supposed she should thank him, since he had indirectly led her to see what Harry was really like.

Ginny sighed. This was going to be a long day. She had already scared some customers away with her gruff and sneering face. She had snapped at some lady for setting a box back on the shelf crooked and had sent death glares at the happy faces of children. She sensed that George, whom she was working with, was becoming either irritated or worried.

"Ginny, that's the fifth customer that you have scared out of here," commented George.

"Good riddance. They were too happy anyway," snapped Ginny.

"Whoa there, little sister. What has got your knickers in a twist?"

"George, if you ever make a comment about my knickers again, you will get a bat-bogey hex to the face and a good swift kick to the shins. You got it?" growled Ginny.

"Ginny, cool it down! I got that point, but really what's bothering you?" said George, looking slightly scared.

"Nothing. Nothing indeed."

"Ginny, I know you better than that. Come on, tell your favorite brother."

"Fred's my favorite."

"Ouch, that hurts Ginny!"

"Bugger off."

"Ginny, I hate to do this, but if you don't either tell me what's going on, or cheer up, I will be forced to restrict your free samples and dock your pay for the lost customers."

"You and your bloody blackmail…" mutter Ginny angrily. "Fine, I'll tell you a little. Harry and I got in a fight. Harry is a big fat jerk."

"Oh, that's all," said George with a smile, in spite of the death glare he was receiving.

"What do you mean, 'that's all?'"

"Ginny, I was sure that all your built up frustrations about Harry would come out one of these days."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do I need to spell it out? You still like Harry. It's obvious, although most people haven't realized it. And of course you would get in a fight! I am willing to bet it was about Romilda."

"How did you…?"

"It had to be. If you still like Harry, she is the only physical thing standing in you way from telling him. And I say 'thing' purposefully, if you catch my drift. Either way, Harry needs a good swift kick if he really doesn't see you for the wonderful person you are. "

Ginny grinned slightly. "Thanks George. You really are my favorite brother."

"Liar. I know you don't have a favorite."

"That's what you think," said Ginny with a knowing smile. "You said it was obvious that I liked Harry, but most don't know, right? Who does know?"

"I, for one. I am fairly sure that Hermoine knows, but that's it. Oh, and maybe Dad."

"Hermoine. I should have suspected as much."

**Section 2: I Meant the Other Harry Potter**

Oddly enough, Ginny was slightly cheered by her conversation with George. She was still mad as hell at Harry, but she knew she would get over it, although she wouldn't forgive him. It was not long after her talk with George that Drop Dead Fred showed up looking sheepish.

"Look, I'm sorry."

Ginny stared at him and played dumb. "For what?"

"Well, mostly for your lover-boy being such a prat."

Ginny laughed. "Yes. That you for pointing that out."

"Either way, I didn't mean to cause a spat. Now you had better take in that apology now, because I will not repeat it," said Fred impatiently.

"I suppose you are forgiven."

"Yes, yes, that's all well, but now that that is over with…let's plot the revenge!"

"No way in hell. Your revenge schemes always get me in trouble!"

"Trouble? I get you in trouble? Never!"

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

This carried on, a frenzied war of child-like proportions. After a few minutes Drop Dead Fred got up.

"Am not!" he said angrily, kicking Ginny in the shins. Ginny cried out in pain, drawing strange looks from potential customers. She then proceeded in tackling Drop Dead Fred on the spot. Soon there was a crowd drawn, all wondering what she was doing. Wrestling an invisible foe was far from what anyone thought. Perhaps she was having some type of fit?

Upon hearing the racket George popped out of his office. "Uh, Ginny, I support creative self expression as much as anyone, but what are you doing?"

"I'm mud wrestling Ghengis Khan! What does it look like I'm doing?" she said angrily as she fell to the ground. Drop Dead Fred had just pulled her hair down hard.

"Well, sorry Ginny. I know you're a tough cookie, but I'm betting on Ghengis," said George.

"Are you going to help me get him or not?" asked Ginny exasperatedly.

"Ginny, hate to break it to you but I don't see anyone there."

"That's because he's invisible to you, idiot!" yelled Ginny, taking Fred's elbow and biting it.

"Alright Ginny, I think you have had enough free samples."

"It's not my fault that I have a mad, invisible uncle out to ruin my life!"

"I am bloody trying to help you!" shouted Fred.

"How is that? Now Harry Bloody Potter, the love of my miserable life, hates me!" shouted Ginny.

Everything stopped. People were still staring at her. Drop Dead Fred had a grin on his face. Her brother Fred, who had arrived minutes before, looked stunned but George only looked mildly surprised.

"And it's about time you realized it," said George. "Still 'like' Harry? Did you honestly think that was it?"

"Shut up, George," said Ginny, miserably. She was sitting on the floor, rumpled from her fight. After a few minutes Fred and George went back the work and the customers pretended as if they hadn't noticed a thing. Drop Dead Fred then dropped down beside her.

"Truce?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Ginny tiredly.

"We're now half-way there, you know?"

"Where?"

"Never you mind," said Drop Dead Fred mischievously.

Ginny didn't have time to react before Fred disappeared. With a glare, she went back to work, hoping that he would leave everything well enough alone.

Yeah, right.

-----------------------------------

A/N: I apologize sincerely for the horrendous delay. The good news is that chapter eight has been started (editing is still needed on six and seven), the bad news is that I will no longer be able to produce at my previous rate. Other good news, I have a few chapters written (not edited though) of a new story, other bad news, I am procrastinating on my work so that I can write. As always, thank you to everyone for reading with an extra special thank you to everyone for reviewing.

---Perplexity


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor his magical world. **

**Chapter 6: Section 1: Dinner Time Fun**

There was a few week absence of chaos and trouble for Ginny. Drop Dead Fred stuck around and Ginny found that she greatly enjoyed having and uncle like Fred, at least when he wasn't ruining her life and in spite of the fact that he was mad and invisible.

"Tell you what, Boogey Breath. How about you and I go for some refreshments at the Leaky Cauldron. We can flick snot at the bartender and other patrons," said Fred one day, cheerfully as Ginny closed up Weasley Wizard Wheezes for the day.

"While that sounds oddly appealing, I have to go to dinner at my Mum and Dad's tonight. Apparently there is some big piece of news from someone and we are all not to miss it," said Ginny.

"On that case, I'll be skipping. The beast isn't too fond of me," said Drop Dead Fred. "Or perhaps that is more a reason to go," he continued mischievously.

"You can come, but you have to behave," said Ginny sternly as she locked the front door.

"Alright."

"I mean behave well. Meaning no mud cakes, no throwing or breaking anything. Actually you can just sit there."

Fred's grin dropped. "You're no fun."

"I know, but you owe me remember?"

"Fine. Can I make faces behind their backs?"

"If you are invisible you can do it to there faces if you wish."

"I'm in."

Ginny grinned and apparated to the Burrow with Drop Dead Fred in tow. Her mother was busy in the kitchen from what she could smell. Definitely good potatoes were cooking with rosemary and just a hint to sage. Ginny realized that she was very hungry and this was just the right place to come.

"Good evening, Mum," said Ginny as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hello Ginny. Would you be a dear and set the table?" said Mrs. Weasley.

Ginny went about it and then returned talk to her mother. She was curious of what the announcement was, but managed to avoid asking…at least for a while.

"So, what's the big news, Mum?" she asked.

"I don't know; it's not my news…George, Fred if those are canary crèmes or one of your other inventions I'll—"

"Don't sweat it, Mum. These are just regular pastries," said Fred who had just walked in the kitchen bearing a plate of delicious looking desserts.

"Are you sure?" said Mrs. Weasley, eyeing them suspiciously.

"I am insulted! You think we would lie to our own mother?" said George.

"Next thing you be accusing us of smuggling Hickypunks into Peru!" said Fred.

"Selling knock-off Nimbus brooms in Knockturn Alley!"

"Streaking through Gringotts!"

"Oh, nice one."

"Alright, that's enough. I get your point," said Mrs. Weasley sternly.

Next Bill and Fleur arrived and then Mr. Weasley. After that was Remus and Tonks and then Ron and Hermoine came arguing about something.

"You can't really think—" said Ron.

"Yes, I really do. Look at all the evidence!" said Hermoine exasperatedly

"What is going on?" asked Ginny with curiosity, but she was just ignored.

"Like what?" demanded Ron.

"Oh, never mind. You can be so thick."

"No, you are just speculating!"

"I am not and that is not the point. The point is that Harry is—"

"Hello," came a new voice. Ginny groaned; in came Harry and with him he brought the hag herself. Ginny desperately wanted to leave, but she knew there was no getting out of it now. Even if she faked sick, Fred and George would catch wind and make her stay.

"Is here," finished Hermoine lamely. "Hello Harry, hello Romilda," she said politely.

Ginny inched her way out of the room, but she knew there was no avoiding them at dinner. Drop Dead Fred, on the other hand, took this opportunity to make faces at Harry and Romilda, which Ginny was grateful for.

Eventually dinner was ready. Ginny sat the farthest away from Romilda, even though this meant sitting next to Phlegm. Ginny was very curious to what the news was and who was announcing it. She didn't think it was Fred or George and she was sure it wasn't herself or her mother. Who could it be?

Eventually, in the wake of good food and reasonable company, Ginny completely forgot that there was any announcement at all. That is until Harry stood up very formally, tapped his glass and sat back down.

"As I am sure you have heard I have an announcement to make. I wanted you guys to be the first to know because you are the closest I have ever had to a real family," said Harry. "Romilda and I are engaged."

"What!" blurted Drop Dead Fred. "You can't possibly marry that bloody beast!"

The was silence for a second before a teary-eyed Mrs. Weasley swept Harry into a hug. "Congratulations, dear," she said. While the rest to the Weasleys congratulated Harry and Romilda as well, Ginny sat in her chair not taking her eyes from her plate. Maybe if she stared into her parsnips long enough it would all go away.

"Oh, just let me at him!" said Drop Dead Fred, bound by his word to Ginny. "I'll tear him to little bits and then eat them!" Ginny ignored him.

Finally she got up, deciding that in spite of her feelings, Harry deserved happiness and if he found it with a two-headed monstrous beast from Jupiter, so be it. When she met Harry's eyes it took all she had not to cry. "Congratulations, Harry," said Ginny, mustering everything she had.

"Thanks," said Harry stiffly, turning to Remus.

Drop Dead Fred looked livid. "What did you do that for? He's a bloody idiot and you congratulate him?"

Ginny didn't speak she just sat back down in her chair feeling miserable. To make matters worse, Romilda too this opportunity to come up to Ginny.

"It looks like the best woman won," she whispered with glee. Drop Dead Fred look at her viciously.

"That's it! Word or not! Let me at her!" he said just before he threw mashed potatoes in Romilda's face.

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A/N: As always thank you to everyonr for reading and reviewing. I am almost finished writing this; there should be 3-5 more chapters.

---Perplexity


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own any part of his magical world.  
**

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred **

**Chapter 7: Potatoes and Parsnips  
**

**Section 1: Ding Dong, the Wicked Witch is Not Very Dead, But Oh Well**

A horrible shriek was heard through the Burrow. Everyone turned toward the source of the noise. Romilda stood by Ginny, screaming, her face covered in mash potatoes. Ginny looked shocked. Everyone turned to her.

"Ginny! What did you do? I taught you better than that young lady!" yelled Mrs. Weasley.

"Apparently not," whispered Fred to George. "Remember the parsnips incident with Percy?"

"She, she hates me!" cried Romilda.

The worst was that Harry just looked at her. The look of disappointment and anger in his eyes stung Ginny. "Come on Romilda," he said gently, "we'll get you cleaned up."

Ginny was nearly in tears as everyone turned to leave the room. Drop Dead Fred had observed this and launched another handful of potatoes into the back of Harry's head.

"Ginny!"

"It's alright Mrs. Weasley," said Harry, just continuing to walk out.

"You bloody idiot!" yelled Drop Dead Fred, launching the gravy, which incidentally landed directly on Romilda. She shrieked again and turned around in enraged.

"You! I know you are a horrible, pathetic excuse for a witch! I knew you would do everything to ruin this moment! You can't handle it, you messed up bloody lunatic. I have won and you can't do anything about it. It is not my fault that nobody likes you so why don't just sell yourself!" screamed Romilda. Ginny did nothing but sit there, unsure of what to do or how to react. She was angry and hurt beyond what she thought possible.

Finally, with little hesitation, Ginny poured the parsnips down Romilda's robes. "I hope you and the jerk are happy together," she said before disapparating.

Everyone looked around shocked for a moment. "Come dear, I'll help you," said Mrs. Weasley, grabbing Romilda's hand.

"I wonder what got into Ginny?" asked Bill.

"Zat was 'orrible" added Fleur.

"Best entertainment we've had in years," said Fred, earning himself a smack upside the head from Hermoine.

"I can't believe she would do that to me," said Harry, quietly.

There was silence again until a new voice shouted, "You are all bloody morons!"

Confusion filled the air until everyone turned to see a man in a green suit with wild red hair. "Especially you," said Drop Dead Fred smacking Harry with a broomstick.

"Fred," said Mr. Weasley quietly.

"I know, I know, I'm banned form here, but good grief! The beast pities the hag that is marrying the idiot! You can all piss off as far as I'm concerned, Ginny deserves much better."

"Fred?" asked Fred.

"This is your Uncle Fred," said Mr. Weasley with amazement.

"Drop Dead Fred," said Drop Dead Fred defiantly.

"And how did he get here?" asked Bill.

"I have been around for weeks. You know your sister isn't bad for being a girl."

"What are you doing here?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"My niece was unhappy so I was sent to help her get happy, but that's impossible now that that bastard messed everything up," said Drop Dead Fred, gesturing to Harry.

"What's going on in here—you!" said Mrs. Weasley as she came back into the room. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh look, here's the beast," said Drop Dead Fred pulling a face.

"Get out of my house!" yelled Mrs. Weasley.

"Mum, Dad, what's going on?" asked Ron.

"I can't bloody get out because your daughter is bloody unhappy!"

"What?"

"Look, Arthur," said Drop Dead Fred. "You know I work with snot-faced brats, right? Well, I what I am is an imaginary friend. I help children. I befriend the buggers and help them sort out their lives and make the best of icky situations. Well, every once in a while I have to help older people, Ginny for example, fix their lives. In conclusion, you're all idiots and can piss off. Well, except for maybe Fred and George. You're brilliant."

Fred and George grinned. Then George gave a knowing nod, "So your why Ginny has been acting so weird."

"Weird? She hasn't been acting weird. You all are the weird ones."

"Who is that?" demanded Romilda as she returned from the bathroom.

"Oh, it is the hag. Don't come to close or I might get diseased," said Drop Dead Fred.

"Excuse me, I don't care who you are, you will not talk to her like that," said Harry.

Drop Dead Fred just laughed. "Shut up idiot. The hag has said much worse things to Ginny, but oh, you don't seem to care, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Drop Dead Fred just rolled his eyes and then began to perfectly mimic Romilda's voice. "' I knew you must be mentally unstable; I mean _there was_ the whole Tom Riddle thing. Its, well, pathetic how you were so stupid to believe him. Setting loose a killer on the school and having to be saved by Harry? It's, frankly, sad. No wonder you didn't have any friends except for that Creevy weirdo you second year. You are just a useless thing that is a menace to other people's lives. What was it? Oh yes…you are a stupid, silly little girl—"

"She wouldn't say that!" said Harry defensively.

"Oh really, idiot? I can go on. 'I really must tell you that your behavior is, frankly, despicable. Now, I know you and Zacharias have your differences, but really, he is a prominent member of the community. You, however, are a disgrace…'"

"She can't…" said Harry, now a bit unsure.

"Would you like me to get a damn bloody Pensieve?" yelled Drop Dead Fred with frustration.

"Is this true, Romilda?" asked Harry.

"Of course not! I would never say such things to… dear Ginny!" she protested.

"'It looks like the best woman won,'" mimicked Drop Dead Fred again.

"What?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Was that about…?"

"That was about you, prat!"

There was, yet again, another silence. Harry looked sadly contemplative. Drop Dead Fred looked livid. Mrs. Weasley looked torn between anger and confusion. Mr. Weasley looked sober. Fred and George were looking angrily mischievous. Bill looked befuddled. Fleur disappointed. Remus and Tonks looked serious and curious. Ron had a grim expression. Hermoine on the other hand, took it upon herself to break the silence.

Smack!

Everyone gasped as Hermoine slapped Romilda across the face. Romilda let out a cry. "That is it! I have had it with you foul people! You are all vile disgraces to the world! Imbeciles and morons that populate the world with their pathetic spawn. Damn you! You are not even worthy of my presence! Zacharias was right about you all! Who can blame him for cheating on that _thing_! Come on Harry, we're leaving!"

Harry did not move. He was looking down as if he didn't really believe where he was. "No," he said.

"What?"

"I am not leaving," he said.

"Harry, if you don't come now you can forget about us!" said Romilda, as if that settled the matter.

"Fine by me," said Harry sadly, leaving to room.

Romilda looked around with disbelief.

"For Ginny, Fred?"

"For Ginny, George?"

"Well, Romilda, while this has been a lovely visit, I must say time is running short."

"I hope you have a good trip home."

"We won't bother to keep in touch."

Fred cast a spell and Romilda was soon running down the drive, screaming her head off.

"Nice work boys!" said Drop Dead Fred enthusiastically, putting one arm around each Fred and George. "What do you call that one?"

"That is a Bat-Bogey Hex," said Ron smugly.

---------------------

A/N: I have two chapters and an epilogue left to post on this story, just to let you know. As always thank you to everyone for reading with an extra special thank to everyone for reviewing.

---Perplexity

PS: In a horrible piece of self-promotion, I would like to say that I have started two new stories Deviated World and Notoriety. They are both very unlike this story, but if you would still like to meander over to them and tell me what you think it would be appriciated.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related jargon. **

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred **

**Chapter 8: Evasion  
**

**Section 1: Buried in Deep**

Ginny landed at her home and sat on the floor. She could hardly think; sadness and anger ran through her veins. She tried to calm herself and go over what happened rationally. Romilda and Harry were getting married. Drop Dead Fred had gotten angry and threw food. Everyone thought it had been her, Ginny. Romilda got mean, well, meaner. Ginny left.

She buried her head in her hands. This was all just peachy. The love of her life hated her and was marrying an evil gorgon. Ginny supposed that this was just how these things were supposed to work. She calmed herself and proceeded to make tea and toast. She drifted off making the toast though and started imagine that the bread slices were Harry and Romilda's heads. Not a good way to get over something. Perhaps she asking too much of herself.

**Section 2: Harry's Feelings and Other Utterly Girlish Sentiments**

Meanwhile at the Burrow, everything was clearing nicely. Drop Dead Fred had explained everything to the Weasleys, Remus and Tonks. Fred and George, though, here outraged that their mum had done such a thing to their uncle, especially when their uncle would have been such a good influence on them. At this Drop Dead Fred beamed at Fred and George and then proceeded to blow a raspberry in Mrs. Weasley's face. Needless to say, she was not pleased.

Despite it all, Molly Weasley accepted Drop Dead Fred back into the family. Mr. Weasley was quite happy about this, as were the Weasley children. Hermoine and Fleur were polite enough, despite the fact that Drop Dead Fred went off on a long tangent about how gross girls were when they were introduced.

Eventually Drop Dead Fred went outside to search out Harry. It wasn't a very long search; Harry was out in the yard.

"Degnoming! I love degnoming," squealed Drop Dead Fred putting out a gnome and spinning it around wildly. Harry didn't say anything. "Look, idiot, I don't think I can handle another unhappy person; so get happy." At this Drop Dead Fred released the gnome, causing it to fly at Harry's head.

Harry ducked, narrowly missing collision. "You're right; I am a idiot."

"And it's about bloody time you realized it," said Drop Dead Fred, wrestling a gnome out of its hole with great excitement.

"Tell me, Mr.…er…Fred, we're you the reason Ginny was at Romilda's with, er, mud pie?" asked Harry unsurely.

"Well, she wouldn't play robbers with me. She didn't seem to keen on mud pie either."

"Oh," said Harry sadly, throwing a gnome.

"If you start blubbering I will have be sick all over."

"I am sorry, it just—difficult. I'm a fool. I feel—"

"Your just a complete and utter girl, aren't you?" said Drop Dead Fred disgustedly.

"Piss off," said Harry with irritation.

"Alright, keep your panties on, Harriet."

**Section 3: If You Prick a Cookie Does it Not Bleed a Deliciously Sweet Sugary Substance?**

Ginny avoided everyone for the next week. She went to work, but did not say a word to Fred or George. If they tried to talk to her about anything besides Weasley Wizard Wheezes, she cast a silencing spell on them. She just felt shattered. How could Harry marry that gorgon?

"Ginny?" came a voice from the door of Weasley Wizard Wheezes.

"Hello Hermoine," said Ginny briskly, straightening the shelf of invisible candy.

"Ginny, I need to talk to you."

"No time now, this place is a wreck! Maybe next year."

"Ginny, the place is fine and your going to talk to me."

"Sorry, I don't the time," said Ginny, walking off.

"We know about Drop Dead Fred!" shouted Hermoine after her.

"How?" asked Ginny, stopping thunderstruck.

"He revealed himself. Your mum didn't seem too happy at first, but she finally accepted him back into the family."

"Really? That's wonderful," said Ginny, forgetting all the trouble Drop Dead Fred had caused.

"Now, I have spoken to Harry—" started Hermoine.

"Is that a cobweb?" exclaimed Ginny. "You know I think I just knocked that one down this morning. Damn those spiders. I had better go find a broom."

"Ginny!"

"Oh, I suppose your right. Spiders have rights too. I'll leave them alone for now," said Ginny distractedly.

"As I was saying—"

"Great Scott! Look at the time. I have a job interview today and I can be late." At that Ginny quickly scooted out the door. Okay, it was a lie; she just went to the bakery, but she really, really didn't want to talk to anyone about it.

In the end, Ginny hid around the corner of her brother's shop, munching on a cookie and periodically checking if Hermoine had left yet. Perhaps it was a bit silly, but it was the only defense Ginny had left and all she could think was that so far Operation Hide with a Cookie was going very well. That was a lie too, it was going well for Ginny, but it was going horribly for the cookie who was being barbarically eaten alive, piece by piece, just to slide into a pit of gastric juice. That could not be pleasant.

Ginny checked once again around through the window of the shop. Hermoine was talking to Fred and George about something and knowing those three it couldn't have been good.

---------------------------

A/N: Only one chapter and a epilogue left. Thank you to everyone for reading and to everyone for reviewing.

---Perplexity

PS:

CerridwenStorms: I can't believe I forgot the cobweb joke! It is a little late now, sorry.

Lisa: While I don't have a good explaination for Harry liking Romilda now, I probably won't have one later either. I suppose it will more be implied in the last chapter, but it is really up to you to give it reason...unless I change my mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or relating material. **

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred **

**Chapter 9: Section 1: The Horrible Plot**

The next day Ginny went to work with a feeling of apprehension. She had a bad feeling about today. It seemed that every shadow was watching her, that something was tracing her every step. It was not a good feeling.

She approached the front door to Weasley Wizard Wizards with caution. She stared at the doorknob intently before finally unlocking it. She opened the door tentatively, keeping her eyes wary of impending danger. Seeing none, she stepped across the threshold. She breathed. It was fine; she was just paranoid this morning for some reason.

Or, perhaps she wasn't paranoid. As soon as she let her guard down, Ginny found herself hung upside down from the ceiling by her ankles. The sounds of evil cackles surrounded her. Her wand had slipped from her grip and was lying on the floor, feet from her reach.

From around her dark robed figures emerged. Ginny yelled and struggled, but their laughter just continued. "Come now, little sister," said one of the figures. "Where did you learn such language?"

Ginny froze and then became angry. "Fred Weasley! Let me down this instant!"

"No way Gin, no way. You see, we have reasons for this. Now open up!" said George.

Ginny glared. She was going to kill her brothers. She started to spout out more profanities, which earned her a disapproving look from one of the figures. "Ginny, this is for your own good, so stop struggling."

"Hermoine Granger! I should have known that you were the brains behind this!"

"Hey!" said George.

"We have plenty of brains invested in this," said Fred indignantly. "As does Uncle Fred." Fred gestured to the fourth robed figure.

Ginny grew even angrier and it didn't help that blood was already rushing to her head. "Drop dead Uncle Fred!" she shouted.

"Bogey Breath, stop shouting," said Drop Dead Fred, shoving something into Ginny's mouth and forcing her to swallow. Immediately Ginny went stiff. She was sure that her eyes were closed, yet she could see and hear everything around her. "It will wear off soon."

Suddenly a fifth figure dashed into the room panting. "He's coming," said the voice of Ron. Ginny wanted to glare at Ron, but found that she couldn't. She could believe her own family was doing this to her (although she didn't really know what this was).

Hermoine, Ron, Fred, George and Drop Dead Fred started laughing evilly. They started prodding her and laughing even harder. Then someone burst through the door. Spells were fired this way and that. Quickly all the robed figures either fell to the ground or ran away, leaving Ginny hanging there, appearing to be unconscious.

Ginny saw the new figure approach her. It was none other but Harry Potter with fear in his eyes.

He got her down from the ceiling and laid her down on the floor. "Come on Gin. Wake up. I know you can. _Enervate_."

Ginny didn't 'wake up.' She could tell that she appeared out cold. She possibly even appeared dead, seeing that she saw tears forming in Harry's eyes. "I am sorry, so sorry for everything. I should have listened to you. I should have seen Romilda for what she really was. Most of all I shouldn't have said all those horrible things to you."

Harry held her close and Ginny, if she had been able to feeling anything, would have felt tingly. "I am sorry," he said again. "I wish I could tell you this when you're conscious. I made a mistake. I never should have thought that I loved Romilda. I just thought I had to move on. I mean you were seeing Smith, that prat, and I just tried to deny what I felt and I—" Harry broke off. "I'm a idiot. I'm rambling to someone who can't hear me who needs medical attention. I just need to tell you that, well, I love you," said Harry in one breath, before turning away, most likely to go get help.

Ginny felt a spell hit her and the comatose feeling left her. She slowly sat up and called out to him. "Harry?" she breathed nervously.

"Ginny!" said Harry, engulfing her in a hug. "Are you alright? What did they do to you?"

"I'm fine Harry," said Ginny with a grin, feeling much happier than she had in a long time. "I—I heard everything you said."

Harry froze and looked like he was going to be sick. 'I'm sorry, I just—"

Ginny laughed. "Don't apologize. Just tell me, did you mean it?"

"Yes, more than I ever realized," said Harry nervously, running his hand through his hair.

"Good," said Ginny leaning into him and kissing him. Harry seeming shocked for a second, before he began to kiss back. This was a good day.

"It's about bloody time!" yelled a voice.

Ginny had forgotten about her brothers, Hermoine and Drop Dead Fred, who were currently watching them with knowing looks. She and Harry broke apart guiltily. Harry looked shocked. "You—?"

"Had to do it mate," said Ron with a grin. "Otherwise you would have never admitted your feelings."

"Note?"

"All planned and planted," said Fred.

"Unconscious?" asked Harry, unable to form more than one word sentences.

"That was the genius work of Hermoine," said George. "Don't worry, Ginny had nothing to do with this."

"She was actually threatening to take off our heads before you came," elaborated Drop Dead Fred.

Harry looked thunderstruck, but Ginny just grinned. Sometimes having an annoying and conniving family paid off.

"So, Ginny, why don't you take the day off," urged George. "I am sure you and Harry have a lot to talk about."

"Like whether you are going to name you first child after me or that oaf," said Fred, gesturing to his twin brother.

Ginny took the day off willingly and spent the rest of the day with Harry, whom after everything she forgave him for being a horrible prat. Yet, Ginny did hold out for a while. She told him that he still had to make it up to her. Luckily he was okay with that.

--------------------------

A/N: All there is left is an epilogue which I have yet to write. Thank you to all for reading with an extra special thank you to everyone for reviewing.

---Perplexity


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or relating material. **

**Drop Dead Uncle Fred **

Epilogue

"Ewww, that is disgusting! What is it?"

"It's a mud soufflé with cricket cluster embellishment, Auntie!"

"A what—I want it out! My beautiful dress robes! What child of horrible child are you?"

"It wasn't just me!"

"Come here you brat!"

"Nooo!" screamed the child running through the house.

Ginny and Harry had decided to go on a walk through the outskirts of Hogsmeade that day. They, after finally admitting to their feelings towards each other were very happy. They were now living together and were perfectly content. Nothing could make their days happier.

Passing a house they heard yells from inside. Ginny looked at Harry frowning. Then, suddenly, a small child, burst through the door from inside, being chased by none other than a very angry and frazzled Romilda Vane.

"Get back here, Evie!" she screeched.

"Never!" yelled the child.

"When you mother hears of this—"

"I told you! Drop Dead Fred did it!"

"Drop Dead—" started Romilda angrily, but was forced to stop when she tripped over a string that was pulled taught about six inches over the grass. Before she could do anything else, a bucket of paint, which was hung from a tree, dumped on her. The screams of anguish could be heard for miles.

The little girl laughed hysterically giving a thumbs up to an invisible figure.

Harry and Ginny continued on, grins on their faces. Correction: very few things could make their days happier.

The End.

--

A/N: Thank you again to everyone who read and reviewed this story. Also, I apologize for it taking two years to write a two hundred word epilogue.


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